Tired but can't sleep situation

Today was pretty ok. I watched the first three episodes of the show "Sherlock" with Olivia, which was really good. I love the editing, most of the characters, and the music. The dialogue's pretty good, too. (Hmm, I just learned that "dialog" is apparently the American spelling... how have I never picked that up?)

Also, I got to talk to Eric today twice on the phone, and both were really good, interesting conversations. That's how most have been lately, and it's awesome! We talk about the Gospel, politics, family stuff, and it's all so interesting. It was a little late when we quit talking tonight, and I was just going to go to bed, but all the sudden for some reason I just started imagining the last time I knew I would be seeing him for two years. Just thinking about how I would be feeling made my throat feel tight, and my heart start pounding faster. I can't imagine seeing him and thinking "This is the LAST time you will be able to hear his voice, or wrap your arms around him, or anything. He's going to be gone."

I think I'll kind of be in a panic at that point, just thinking "NO! I've gotta hang on to every moment, and stop time somehow! He can't ever leave today, because when he walks out the door, that's IT for two years!" I think I'll be some kind of collapsed pile after he leaves.

Now, don't get me wrong! Eric and I both feel that it's God's will that he serve a mission, and that is FAR more important than a temporary, personal break-down. Eric has a burning love for the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I know he wants to bring that same knowledge and joy to others so badly, and Piura, Peru is where he's needed now. It's just that I've grown so close to Eric over the past two years. We've talked, danced, laughed, cried, cooked, cleaned, read scriptures, prayed, played, shopped, walked, sung, told stories, watched movies, worked, traveled and have been an embarrassing couple on purpose together! He's the best man I know, and my best friend. I hate to imagine life without him, even though I know in the scheme of things it's not that long.

I just hope neither of us changes too much (you know, in a bad, grow-apart sort of way). And, there are always good ol' one-page computer-paper folded up pouch mail letters once a week. Much better than nothing. Sigh... maybe dear elder has some options I'm overlooking. Anyway, as always, much more is going on in my life and in my thoughts than I ever have time to write, but this'll have to do for now. I'm going to my youngest sister's award thing tomorrow morning, Eric's coming over and then after my other sister's high school graduation (congrats, Olivia!) I'll be probably going to Kansas City and then Eric's family reunion. Yay!

--Sannah