Waiting for a missionary

A few random thoughts:

• For me, the first year was very easy. Eric was my best friend, I remembered our relationship really well, I got letters sort of regularly--like the first couple of days were rough, but then it wasn't so bad, I got used to it, and thought things would pretty much feel the same the rest of the time. I really enjoyed making friends, and sort of found that that helped distract me a little. 
• Around the one-year mark, like two months before, time seemed to go slowly. Pretty much that point until like the 3/4ths mark was rough. I was sort of depressed, and there was some other stuff going on as well... school was VERY busy, I felt lonely, and was not feeling close to Eric at all, like in some ways he was a stranger. I'm not happy to say that, but it's true... 
• Six-months-to-go-mark: Felt great, came surprisingly fast, and I knew at that point that time would be going VERY quickly from that point on. I woke up happy for a couple of days, just because I knew I was going to be seeing Eric soon. Now it's sort of worn off-- 20 weeks to go! I know I'm going to be very busy with preparations, but surprisingly and sadly I'm not very motivated.

And this is not a good sign... I don't want to change the relationship status on Facebook to "engaged". I don't even know why! Eric told me to change it two weeks ago, and I keep putting it off. I should just do it, but I'm worried about regretting it, stupid as that is...  I'm not looking forward to the reaction, I wish we would have just changed it before he left, but he was concerned that it would frowned upon, a guy getting engaged right before his mission. But most of my close friends know about it, so they'll just be like "About time!" and stuff. Whatever, I guess who cares what people think, I'll go ahead and change it I guess. I guess part of the reason I don't like it is I'll feel extra alone in a way, like I am the one who handles and responds to everyone's reactions, just me... and planning a wedding by myself... I wonder if getting married in November is the right thing, I almost feel like I'm getting cold feet. I just wish things didn't have to be so rushed, I wish it weren't so convenient to just get married in November, and then move to Utah... I would have enjoyed planning everything together, I think. Maybe I should tell him I'm sort of having doubts :( Plus it's like, he brings up things that he wants for the reception and stuff, and I appreciate that he's trying to be helpful, but it's like it creates more questions...

A few minutes later:

Ok, well I aired some of my complaints and concerns with my awesome friend Jenni, and she had some excellent suggestions and gave me some reassurance... I feel much better now. I'm very lucky to have a support system, even while Eric's gone. I guess I'll change that status now!

Best,

Sannah